Today, September 2, 2018, we celebrate 5 years of TJ being a part of our family.  I remember the day he became our son like it was yesterday.  It was so surreal as 10 families met in the lobby of a hotel in China to then board a bus and travel to meet our children. I remember how odd the conversations were that morning, how quiet but excited the mood was.  The bus ride was equally as strange.  We didn’t travel long, but it seemed to take a thousand years.  This was the moment we had all been working towards for months, some of the families years.  It was happening, but none of us could quite believe it! The night before, cribs were placed in our hotel rooms and it was at that moment that it all became so real to Adam and I!  I remember getting off the elevator after a trip to Walmart and spotting the cribs.  I screamed with excitement! We were given instructions as we rode the bus that morning and told what to expect, but really we couldn’t even fathom how all of this would go.  We were told that the children came from all over the province and could arrive any time within a 3 hour window.  Some came in cars and some had to ride trains.  None of us expected for children to already be there when we arrived.  However, when we pulled up, 2 children were standing outside of the open door and Adam immediately recognized TJ.  In an instant everyone knew our child had arrived and we were let off the bus first.  We threw our video camera to one person and regular camera to another and ran to our son.  TJ was amazing that morning, he ate all of the snacks and played with the little red VW bug that we brought.  The hours passed by in a blur as each family’s children arrived.  The room got louder and louder with the addition of each group of people.  While we did take time to meet each new child and complete some paperwork, I mostly remember just sitting with Adam and TJ and marveling at this miraculous moment.

Adoption is so amazing and we have never been more thankful for TJ being placed in our family.  We talk often about the awesome way God worked everything out.  More about that and our journey through the adoption process can be found in this blog post.  TJ is a light to everyone he meets. He never meets a stranger and he is quick to make a friend.  He loves God and loves to learn the stories in the Bible.  He’s witty, funny and finds the fun in everything he does!  He adores his family and they adore him right back.  He couldn’t be a more perfect fit  .For us, adoption has been very easy until just the last few months.  I had always heard quotes that adoption starts with pain and loss, but had not thought much about that until just recntly.  Just in the last 6 months or so  TJ has really started putting things together, such as the fact that he had a life before us.  He’s had lots of questions about his China mom and dad and talks often about wanting to travel back to China to see “his stuff.”  He’s wondered why he was born with cleft palate and noticed how his looks make him different.  Most recently, he ask why God didn’t put a baby in my belly and why couldn’t it have been him.  I hurt so badly when he asks these questions because most of them I just can’t answer. I wish I knew the definitive reason’s he came to live in an orphanage.  In those times, I remind him of God’s love and his divine plan and that even when we don’t understand, God knows what he is doing and I pray that TJ will always rely on that when he is sad or confused.

“A child born to another woman calls me Mommy.  The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege is not lost on me. “

After coming home from China the first time, I was sure that adoption advocacy was something I wanted to continue to do.  And I will 100% support adoption, always.  It’s the way that God chose to give me children and grow our family.  However, I have learned some things since then.  There is a huge population of orphans that are orphaned because their family couldn’t afford to take care of them.  In China, often times families simply can’t afford the cost of medical bills, which is why the number of special needs adoptions are so high.  In other countries its the cost of medical care, the cost of schooling, the HIV crisis, poverty, etc., that is making it impossible for families to stay together.  I have realized that while adoption is one way to alleviate the orphan crisis, another way is to support family preservation.  This has become something that has been on my heart and mind for a long while and I am excited to share over the next few weeks how we can all support family preservation both in the US and overseas.

So today, on Gotcha Day, we will celebrate our family and the amazing plans God has for all of us.  We are going to look at some pictures, watch the videos of the day, and let TJ pick a special place to eat.  TJ, I’m sure, will ask me to tell “his story” which begins with his mommy falling in love with a little baby that always had the hiccups and ends with his Mommy and Daddy running off the bus when they caught sight of him.  It’s his favorite story and one I have to tell often.  I’m sure there will be some contact with the families that we experienced  this day with in China.  I’ll  be thinking of the families that are still waiting for their little ones to come home and the children that are waiting for a family.  And I’ll be thinking of TJ’s first family.  I so wish I could tell them about this amazing, smart, outgoing, healthy, and curious little boy we are privileged to call ours.